Traveling the world...with kids

I just returned home from an adventure. We decided our kids were ready to travel. And when you're ready to travel (again) and feel like you've been chomping at the bit for a decade while waiting for a chance to get back out into the world, why start small?

I mean, why go someplace easy?

We didn't.

For our first big adventure with our girls, we decided to take them to Asia. It was meant to be a test. We figured that if they could handle this trip, they could handle just about anything and maybe we'd have more trips in our future.

We started with a few days in and around San Francisco (clearly, San Francisco is not in Asia...but it was a great jumping off point), then flew to Hong Kong where we spent about five days, took a ferry to Macau for a day, and then flew to Vietnam where we spent another four days. All together, the trip was 18 days and our girls, ages 10 and 8, managed the trip like champs.

For just a second, I want to talk about why we decided to travel with our kids, and why we chose Asia for their first big trip. Scott and I both believe it is important for our children to grow up knowing that there is more to the world than the little community in which we live. We believe that in order to understand that most of the world is not like America, our kids should see the world for themselves. We want their view of the world to be not an us-and-them view, but a we-are-all-in-this-together view. I know that it's possible to achieve these goals without travel (neither Scott nor I traveled as kids and we came out okay) but travel seems like the best way to ensure that our kids will end up with the perspective we want them to have.

Also, we recently realized that we've only got 8 years left with our oldest kid before she might be out of the house. That's not much time and we wanted to be intentional about spending focused, concentrated time with both of our kids, creating memories and bonding as a family. To us, travel is the best way to do that.

Most of the people who heard about our trip asked the same thing, "Why Asia?" And some, the more bold of our friends and acquaintances, asked, "Why aren't you going to Europe?"

There were a few reasons. First, a good friend from my childhood lives in Hong Kong. We've wanted to visit her there and haven't had a chance, so this seemed like a great opportunity. But also, Asia is very different from America. If you haven't spent much time there, Asia shocks you. It's crowded and noisy and looks different and smells different and tastes different. The language is impossible for us to understand. The food is completely foreign. The customs are unfamiliar.

And also, Europe? I've not been to more of Europe than London (which I realize doesn't even count in some people's eyes), but my impression is that Europe is relatively comfortable. From my experience traveling, I've found that the times I learned the most about myself and the world were the times I was uncomfortable. And the more uncomfortable I was (both physically and mentally), the more I learned.

While traveling in Asia we felt stupid several times and uncomfortable most of the time. We were laughed at more than once. Not in a judgmental, "You stupid Americans," way, but in a, "How silly that they don't know how to ask for more tea," way.

And that was good. Being laughed at in that way keeps a person humble. It reminds us that the world does not belong to us and that we represent, in fact, but one small bit of humanity.

Philosophy aside, traveling with kids is intimidating. No matter how rewarding it might be, it's a little scary.

Because my kids having tantrums in my house? Where I can send them to their rooms? I can handle that.

My kids having tantrums on a train in the middle of a totally foreign place? Not so easy to handle.

So, here are a few things we learned along the way. Hopefully these are ideas you can use, ideas you will use as you drag your children around the globe.

1. Keep them fed. Duh, right? But it's harder than it sounds. As an adult, you want to get from one place to another and you can fight through an empty stomach, knowing that your next meal is not that far away. We tried this with our kids -- not that we were intentionally trying to stretch them, we were just trying to pack in as many activities and sights and experiences as we could. Brynn (our older one) can handle being a little hungry. Callie, our younger one, cannot. Much like I've heard her father was at 8 years old, Callie falls apart before her stomach even growls. Grunting, groaning, shaking her body, pissed off at the world. And if we let her get to that place where she is falling apart, she won't eat because nothing "sounds good." So once we figured this out, even when it wasn't convenient, we made sure to keep her fed. This meant frequent stops for snacks and it also meant keeping water on hand. Sometimes water was all she needed, but she didn't recognize it. We had to remember to offer it to her regularly.

2. Build in downtime. During our first couple of days in Hong Kong, we had a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time. We were staying in an apartment in a great location in the middle of Hong Kong, but it wasn't a place we wanted to hang out during the day. It was small and a bit cramped (as are most places in Hong Kong), it smelled a little mildewy, and it was a little warm. Between not having an ideal place to come back to for a rest and not wanting to sleep during the day for fear of never adjusting to the time difference, plus wanting to see as much as possible in a short amount of time, we may have worked too hard. Callie fell asleep at dinner the first three nights. Head on the table, carried out of restaurants. Meals she normally would have loved she totally missed out on.

Looking back, what could we have done differently during those first few days? We could have found a place for the kids to chill. Some kind of park or open space (not easy to find in Hong Kong, but I'm certain if we looked hard enough we could have found it) would have been a great place for the kids to let their brains rest while their bodies played. That brings me to #3.

3. Find other kids to play with. Our kids are 8 and 10. They're not toddlers. They don't need a LOT of playtime. But they need some. And, frankly, Scott and I are not ideal play companions. During this trip it occurred to me that playtime is to kids what sitting back and drinking a beer (or a glass of wine) is to adults. It helps us unwind, helps us chill out, helps us relax so that we are prepared for the next big thing.

We were lucky that in San Francisco we stayed with friends who have three kids. All three are younger than my kids, but I don't think it mattered. They had a ball playing together and their playtime each evening was enough to unwind the kids for another full day the next day. During the second part of our time in Hong Kong we stayed with friends who have two year old twins. Again, much younger than my kids and, again, it didn't matter. My kids engaged with them and through play were able to chill. In Vietnam we were hoping to have kids around for our kids to play with during the second half of our stay there. That didn't work out as planned, but the girls played really well with each other during the afternoon when we had nothing else to do. In a hot, sweaty, difficult situation, their opportunity to play together is what kept all of us sane.

4. Have realistic expectations. Traveling with kids is not the same as traveling with adults. We didn't see and do everything with our kids that we might have seen and done had it been just the two of us. For instance, in Macau we planned to spend our first afternoon/evening seeing the Las Vegas-ish side of Macau. Exploring the hotels and arcades and wandering past the expensive restaurants. The next day, before catching an evening ferry to the airport, we planned to wander the old side of Macau which was colonized by the Portuguese. Unfortunately, it was raining. And it rained all day long. Scott had a whole walking tour planned for us, with cool facts about everything we were going to see. He had a list of food we wanted to try. If we'd been there alone, we probably would have sucked it up and done the walk in the rain. But with kids? Forget it. We tried sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for the rain to die down. We tried wandering through the Wynn, hoping that eventually the rain would stop. The rain never stopped, so we cut our losses and headed back to the ferry terminal to try to catch an earlier ferry to the airport. At least there we knew the kids could sit back and read or write in their journals and rest. Of course the sun came out as soon as we got on the ferry.

As it turned out, there was a problem at the ferry terminal with our Vietnamese visas, so the extra time came in handy. But even if things had gone smoothly, downtime in the airport would have been better than going with our original plans.

5. Guide them in their learning. Both of my kids were asked by their teachers to keep journals of their trip. You want to know what those journals looked like at first? "I just got on the plane. Now the plane is in the air. The flight attendant brought us drinks. We watched a movie." Yeah, pretty much a play-by-play of everything we did. I encouraged them to choose one thing that they noticed that day to write about. A smell? A sound? A sight? This worked for Brynn. At 10 years old, she's learned how to write essays and can write well from a prompt. Callie still needed extra guidance, though, and by the time we got to Vietnam, she was done writing. She wanted nothing to do with it. At that point, I actually had to write for her. We would talk about what she wanted to say and then she'd dictate to me. And I had to be flexible enough to be okay with that. We never did get through the second half of our time in Vietnam, but at least now she has experience journaling and I hope that next time will be easier.

Before Brynn went back to school on Monday, I asked her, "When your teacher asks you what you learned, what are you going to say?" Her answer? "Ummmm, I learned about rice." Seriously? We just spent how many thousands of dollars and how much time and you learned about rice? I know she learned more than that and I know Brynn's teacher. I know that he wants his students to think critically and expects a lot out of them. That answer wasn't going to cut it. So I stopped her and reminded her that her answer didn't have to be so literal. Her answer needed to be something she couldn't learn from watching a movie or reading a book. It needed to be something that required her being in a new place. That helped move her in the right direction. Then she was coming up with answers like, "I learned that Asia is really different from America," and, "there is a lot more of the world that I want to see." Those were answers we could work with and expand on.

When I think back to my first experiences being in new and different places, I'm not sure that I could have done much better than Brynn, and I was a young adult. I know that the answers are inside her, that she internalized all she saw, but it's hard to make sense out of it. It takes maturity and experience to put into words what you see and feel and learn when you travel.

6. Pack lighter than you think is reasonable. We tried to pack light, but we could have done better. We each had a backpack and nothing else which seemed pretty good when we left the house, but the girls' packs were too heavy for them (especially for Callie -- Brynn did well). Our trip included some significant changes in weather that made packing difficult. We went from the Bay Area (which Scott says is the coldest place he's ever been) to the Mekong Delta (which was in the high nineties and humid while we were there). I don't mind carrying a heavy pack, and neither does Scott, but next time we'll make sure the girls' packs are as light as possible to make transiting from one place to another even easier.

7. Don't avoid the hard stuff. For me, the hardest part of the trip was the two days we spent in the Mekong Delta. It was hot. Like 99 degrees plus super humid. It was a long (3 1/2 hour) bus ride getting out there. Brynn left a backpack in the bathroom of a bus station and we had to go through a pretty drawn out process with the police to get it back while our bus was about to pull out of the parking lot. The place where we were staying was supposed to be a "homestay" but turned out to be more of a guest house. There was no air conditioning and no shower. We were dirty, sweaty, and stinky. It was hard and sometimes it was frustrating. I almost suggested that we cut it short and run back to the comfort of our air conditioned hotel in Saigon.

But I didn't.

And you know what? The kids didn't think it was hard. Or at least they didn't say so. They had fun. They played. They learned. They met a sweet woman from Japan and a great couple from the Netherlands who were staying at the guest house with us. The girls engaged with these strangers from other parts of the world and caught glimpses of cultures that they'd never seen before. They smiled and laughed and answered questions and were really great representatives of America. They made us proud.

Old Vietnamese women grabbed Callie's arms and smacked her behind and pointed at her and smiled toothless grins. (We can't figure out why, but old women and animals all love Callie.) Kids waved at us and yelled, "Hello!" through huge smiles. The girls chased minnows in the muddy water outside our cabin. They adjusted well to the heat and humidity.

As adults, the hard stuff is what makes us physically uncomfortable and makes us nervous because we don't know what to expect. But not for the kids. They took it all in stride and pushed us to be cheerful (or at least pretend to be cheerful) despite our discomfort. For kids, the hard stuff is walking through museums, reading guidebooks, being forced to sit at a table for long stretches of time. For them that isn't fun. Playing in the mud is fun. Meeting new people is fun.

That last part of the trip, the hardest part, reminded me of why I believe in traveling to challenging places. Sometimes it doesn't feel great. It isn't relaxing or luxurious or simple. You don't return home feeling recharged or revived or ready to take on the world. As I get older I see myself wanting to go someplace simple, someplace where I don't feel so challenged. I want to go lie on a beach or sit in a nice restaurant and drink wine. And we will. We need balance. But the stuff that's hard for Scott and me is great for the kids and so I have to remind myself not to avoid it but rather to seek it out and be intentional about including it in our travel plans.

I'll probably write a few more posts about our trip, but I'll do it over on our family blog. If you're interested in following along, feel free to check up on The Friendly Home on Facebook or follow me on Twitter. I'll publicize any other travel posts there. Also, we finally joined the Instagram family while we traveled. You can see all of our pics on Scott's Instagram page, here.

Have you traveled with kids? What would you add? I'm sure there's more to know!

Merry Christmas!

{backyard redo} Things always get worse before they get better

You know how it goes with any project -- even when you're just painting a room. That chaotic time after a project has started, when your stuff is strewn all over the place, the floors are dirty and you can't find your favorite (fill in the blank).

That's pretty much how every project goes, I think, but it's especially noticeable when the project requires digging up half your backyard.

A few days before work started on our backyard, our sweet Lab/Husky mix, Libbie, was run over by a car. She was on leash out for a walk when she bolted after a deer. The car ran over her belly, lacerated her diaphragm in two spots, and dislocated her hip. She was in a world of hurt (and put a pretty good dent in our bank account). When she got home from the hospital, Libbie was in a hip sling and couldn't walk well. Of course, she needs to be able to get out the sliding door in the photo to go to the bathroom. So a friend who's dealt with dogs for a lot longer than I have recommended setting up a ramp for her to get in and out of the house. Without the ramp we would have had to walk her out through the garage and through the sideyard every time she needed to go potty. I'm just going to guess that we would have seen a few potty accidents in the house.

Libbie in recovery mode.

Libbie wasn't really keen on the whole ramp idea but we managed to coax her out onto it so that she could get to the bathroom with relative ease. Yeah, she still had to go over and around piles of debris in the yard, but she fought through it.

All of this gravel came from behind the concrete block wall that was removed and pushed back to create space for the fire pit and fountain. Eventually most of the gravel went in as backfill behind the new wall, and all the dirt that was removed was hauled off. Watching the guys dig out the hillside made Scott's back hurt. I'm not kidding.

Here's a view from our back door -- the one that Libbie uses to go out to her potty spot. The grey concrete block panel in the photo above is the base for our new fountain. The lines dug to it are for water (to fill the fountain automatically, so that it doesn't run dry) and natural gas (for the fire pit). You can also see one of the little Blue Spruce trees that Andrew and his guys planted for us. As it grows, it should fill in that spot nicely and create a pretty good screen from our neighbors. There are three more of them scattered across the back hill.

Looking back at these photos, I'm pretty thrilled that this phase of construction is over. Even though I know going into every project that things always get worse before they get better, that doesn't really help lower my stress level over the mess, even when I'm only looking at it through a sliding glass door. It also helps that now (a) Libbie can walk and (b) she doesn't have to dodge concrete blocks, tubing, old deck wood, and tools when she goes to the bathroom. Funny how things that seem so simple, like a trip to the doggy outhouse, can be such a big deal!

psst...for more about our backyard redo, check out these posts.

Christmas fun with CeCe Caldwell's Paint

 

Inspired by this pin, on Monday I painted the Joy sign you see above. I'd been working with CeCe Caldwell's mineral-based paint on a table and was getting frustrated because the top wasn't coming out exactly how I wanted it -- there is definitely a learning curve to CeCe's paint when you're transitioning from conventional latex paint. So instead of driving myself crazy with the table top, I took my frustration out on something I knew I wanted heavily distressed...and I looove how it turned out! (Eventually I got the table right, too! More on that next week.)

Here is what I did to make the sign:

1. Lightly sand the surface of the wood. I used reclaimed dark-stained plywood from an old closet shelf.
2. Slap the Omaha Ochre CeCe Caldwell paint onto the board. I literally slapped, smooshed, and dragged it on to leave the surface far from smooth. I did this on purpose, so that when I waxed it at the end with dark wax, the wax would have crevices to stick to and add more depth and age.
3. Slap on a second coat. In retrospect, I could have gone without the second coat probably.
4. Lightly sand (with 320 grit) the dry paint to give me a surface smooth enough to take the letters.
5. For the fifth step, I should have distressed with a sponge and then sealed the Omaha Ochre paint. I'll explain why later. If I were to do it over again, I'd use my favorite PolyWhey sealer to seal the distressed paint.
6. Using a pencil and a 1x3 board to loosely measure my letters, I outlined the letters.
7. Fill in the letters using CeCe Caldwell's Traverse City Cherry paint. Again, I slapped it on and smooshed it around.
8. Once it was dry, I lightly sanded again. Here's where I got into some trouble. Sanding mixed the red into the ochre paint and then I had to be super nitpicky about rubbing down the ochre paint with a sponge to get the red out of the cracks and crevices. If I'd sealed the ochre first, this wouldn't have been an issue.
9. Distress with a sponge -- CeCe's paint is like unsealed drywall compound; it comes off with a damp sponge until you seal it, then it becomes impervious like conventional paint.
10. Seal with PolyWhey.
11. Wax with brown wax and then "clean up" extra brown wax using clear wax, which takes off and disperses colored wax.
12. Wax plywood edges with brown wax.
13. Buff the heck out of the whole thing with a soft, dry rag.

Here are a couple of close ups so you can see how the dark wax sits in the grooves made when I mooshed the paint around.

 In addition to the Joy sign, I made this Noel sign.

These two signs took almost no paint -- you could easily buy two small CeCe paint containers and do this project plus several others before running out.

I had originally planned to sell the Noel sign, but I'm pretty crazy about it sitting out by my front door with my Craigslist antique sled. So...who knows. It may be in my family for years to come. The Joy sign is at my friend Emily's house -- the first in a series of a few pieces I'll be making for her to repay a barter for some sweet Frye boots she gave me.

I'm pretty sure I got the good end of that deal -- an awesome pair of boots and a chance to go crazy with wood and paint. What's not to like about that?

{outside the box} 2012 Sustainable Gift Guide

This is not the be-all and end-all to gift guides. Instead, it's just a few thoughts and suggestions for giving sustainable gifts or gifts that get you thinking outside the box. These are gifts that might make a difference to the receiver, to the environment, to the people involved in creating the gift. These are gifts that could have a long-term positive impact, and maybe they are gifts that won't turn into clutter in the receiver's home.

Locally made
Check out local boutiques and nurseries to see what you can find that is made by artisans in your area. Even here in Colorado Springs, not exactly a bastion of arts and crafts, I can find locally-made products. Also, check with friends who have a crafty hobby. Just off the top of my head, I can think of friends who sew, woodwork, bake and preserve food...I know that any of these people would be willing to create something that I could give as a gift. Also be sure to check out craft fairs -- we had one at my house a few weeks ago and I know that lots of locally made gifts were purchased!

Handmade
Etsy! If you can't find the handmade item you're looking for locally, try Etsy! I've used Etsy for gifts a few times in the past and been so pleased with everything I've purchased. Are things more expensive than the version you'd find at Kohl's or Target? Um, yeah. Of course. Is it okay to adjust and buy fewer things in order give something that is handmade in the USA? I think so.

Vintage
Great vintage finds are available on Etsy, but also on your local Craigslist in the antiques section and at local flea markets. Vintage quilts, enamelware, kitchen tools, furniture, decor items -- all of them are unique and sustainable items.

Food
I love food. I love to give food, I love to receive food, I love to eat food. I especially love it if it is food that I can feel good about. Here are a few ideas for food and food-related gifts:

• Super high quality organic/shade grown/fair trade coffee
• Fair trade tea
• Spices from a specialty spice shop. I get mine at our local Savory Spice Shop. The people in the store are so helpful and kind!
• A gift certificate to a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture program).
• A month (or two or three) of service from a company like Door to Door Organics.
• A gift certificate to a local restaurant. Who doesn't love to be treated to a special meal?

Outside
What about gifts for people who are working to improve the outdoor spaces around their home? Here are a few ideas for them.

• A gift certificate to a local nursery.
• A month of service from a local, organic lawn care provider, like this one in our town. Because who wouldn't want a pro to work on their lawn for a month or two?
• A gift certificate to a mail-order nursery that specializes in plants for that person's region. I use this one because I can get a lot of xeric plants for not much money.
• Gardening tools! I once got a garden cart as a gift. And a composting bin. Both gifts made me giddy. Both came from my mom, who knows me well.
• A ticket or tickets or even a membership to your local botanic gardens.

Books
They may not be locally made on organic paper, but I have a hard time resisting great books -- especially those that can make a difference in the life of the reader. Right now I'm crazy about Shauna Niequist's books and can't wait to get my hands on her newest one that comes out this spring, Bread & Wine. I would also be inclined to give cookbooks, especially the new Forks Over Knives book. A book like that can change a person's health for life. As a groomsmen gift, my brother-in-law received Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover. It has completely changed his life and the life of his family. Books inspire, books change, books entertain. You can't go wrong with a good book!

Fair Trade
Do you have a local fair trade shop? I do. Ours is called Yobel Market. My kids will be getting stockings stuffed with jewelry, headbands, scarves, note pads, and who knows what else from Yobel. And I'm thinking...if Colorado Springs has a fair trade shop, you probably do too. Here are a few other spots where it is easy to find fair trade products.

• Fair Trade USA
• Whole Foods Market (Have you seen that Whole Foods is selling Toms now?!)
• World Market (World Market used to be a fun place to shop for fair trade stuff, but now that it's been purchased by Bed Bath & Beyond, I'm not as confident...so tread lightly along this path.)

Non-Toxic Body Products
Even Scott likes to receive high quality body products. His favorites are the Ava Anderson lip balm (they come in a pack of 4 for $13, which we think is totally worth it) and the (sadly now discontinued) Burts Bees Bay Rum line. We prefer to buy non-toxic body products from Ava Anderson because we don't have to look at the labels -- we know every ingredient is trustworthy. I also buy body products from Whole Foods, but only after checking the ingredients on the label and checking them in the EWG Skin Deep database.

It would be kind of sad to give someone a gift that's full of carcinogens.

I've also been known to make my own body products, package them nicely, and give them away as gifts, especially for teachers. Last year I made sugar-lemon-ginger body scrub with ingredients similar to this recipe.

Gifts that change the world for one person, one animal, or even the whole planet.
Why not make a financial contribution in a loved one's name? We've done this in lieu of physical gifts and been really happy with the results. Here are some of the organizations that are favorites for individuals in my family.

• Wild Aid. This is one of Scott's favorites, because they go after the demand end of the endangered species problem. There are lots of great organizations working to protect endangered species, but Wild Aid is the only one we know of who has created a huge ad campaign aimed at reducing the demand for ivory and other parts of the bodies of endangered animals. Anyone who has been through an introduction to economics will tell you that if there is a demand, a supply will always be found. We love to contribute to an organization that attacks the demand.
• Atin Afrika Foundation. This is my daughter Brynn's favorite. Our friend Chelsea founded the organization and we absolutely believe in the work she is doing. Atin is a transitional shelter that cares for, feeds, and educates street kids in Uganda while seeking a permanent home solution for the kids. The kids eventually go back to their families -- sometimes grandma or an aunt or uncle, because mom and dad are gone or unable to care for the kids. Once a child has gone through Atin, the child will always have the support of Atin in helping to pay for school and clothes, and a place to come back to if they need help.
• Sea Shepherd Conservation Society Cove Guardians. I realize that the Sea Shepherd organization is a slightly controversial one, but it is my daughter Callie's favorite. Lately she's been watching the livestream of the dolphin hunts and slaughters in Taiji via the Sea Shepherd Cove Guardians. The Cove Guardians seek to publicize and, eventually, end the Taiji dolphin slaughter. Because it is something that is important to Callie, and because I can see how learning about the slaughter is shaping who she is and the impact she will have on the world, I will happily support the Sea Shepherd Cove Guardians with a gift this Christmas.
• Compassion International. About ten years ago, we gave the gift of Compassion Sponsorship to a member of our family. We were ready to take on the financial commitment of supporting a second child through Compassion and we knew someone special who would appreciate that commitment as much as we did, so we sponsored the child as a gift. Compassion is able to set it up so that you are responsible for the financial end and the person who receives the gift is responsible for corresponding with the child, or you can be responsible for both. Compassion sponsorship is a great gift for someone who has a heart for children or a certain culture or country.
• Blood:Water Mission. My brother and his wife are strong supporters of Blood:Water Mission. B:WM implements programs of prevention, treatment, and support for HIV/AIDS as well as programs that increase access to clean water for people living in Africa. I love that B:WM recognizes that both HIV and clean water are extremely complex problems and approaches those problems with humility and reliance on the local communities as those communities work with B:WM to create solutions.
• Therapeutic Living Centers for the Blind. This is a small organization in Southern California that has personal meaning to me and my family -- my older sister used to live there and was treated with the utmost respect and compassion. If I were to to contribute to an organization as a gift for my mom, this is where it would go. Because a mom's heart is blessed by the organizations that help her children and, for us, this one is the top of the heap.

Where would you donate if you were making a contribution as a gift to a friend or family member? Maybe the animal rescue organization where they adopted a pet? Maybe a food pantry in their town? An organization that supports prevention of a disease that touched that person? The person's church? Maybe it could even be your child's school or the summer camp where they go. There are so many great organizations out there -- finding one is not difficult.

This Christmas when it comes to gifts, will you be thinking outside the box? What can you give that would bless someone locally or be sustainable, healthy, or even world-changing?

The best way to get a project done without doing it all yourself

Do you remember the famous passage from Tom Sawyer when Tom gets Ben Rogers (and eventually Billy Fisher and Johnny Miller) to whitewash a fence for him?

Yeah...my girls and I totally pulled that off this weekend. Actually, it was one of my girls who made it happen.

See this deck? Or should I say see this sorry-excuse-for-a-deck. It looks more like a raft to me.

We're tearing it out! We're paying someone else to lay a patio and do some other work in the backyard (I know! Paying someone to work on our yard!) but it is my job to get the deck demo'd since we're going to re-use some of the wood for a pergola.

On Friday while the girls were out of school for the day, I somehow swindled them into working on the deck demo with me. Brynn, my 9 year old, was enthusiastic from the get-go. It took her enthusiasm to drag my 7 year old, Callie, out of the house to work with us. It helped that I told Callie she could "document" the whole deck de-construction with my camera! So most of the photos you see here were taken by her. Hooray for point-and-shoots.

Callie brought along her new American Girl catalog -- for break time, I guess.

While I pulled the boards off of the deck, the girls pounded nails down and then flipped over the boards and pulled the nails out. When our next door neighbor called to see if the girls were around, Brynn said, "Come on over! And bring a hammer!" And so she did, and went right to work along side Brynn and Callie.

Stacking up the re-usable wood in the side yard.

Then another friend called and Brynn said, "Come on over! And bring a hammer!" This friend laughed at Brynn and told her (several times) that she was crazy. But the friend showed up anyway and, instead of a hammer, dragged along her little sister.

So that makes 5 elementary school girls, three hammers, two drills, and one crowbar. Oh, and me. I would say that the five of them together did about one and a half adults worth of work, which may seem like an inefficient use of energy but, really? Elementary age kids have an endless supply and they were very entertaining to work with.

One of them accidentally used the claw end of her hammer several times when she should have been using the pounding end. One of my girls dropped a long (like 14-foot) board on the other one's foot. When there weren't enough tools to go around, two of the girls sang and danced to keep our spirits high while we worked.

The sixth girl did significantly less work than the rest of them.

This was toward the end of our work day. Do you look this happy (or fashionable)
when you've done that much work?

This was my first time witnessing the Tom Sawyer method of persuasion in action, and I think I'll be using it again. Have you ever used the Tom Sawyer method?

Last-minute cole slaw dinner

After my post about how my family and I went plant-strong, I got several questions from friends asking what I eat and what recipes I use. I don't use many recipes and when I do, I treat them like inspiration (much to the chagrin of friends and family who need plant-strong ideas). But, I thought I could give you a little window into what my dinner-making process looked like tonight. Here we go.

It's 5:30pm. Like most nights, tonight I don't have a plan for dinner. I look in the fridge to figure out what I'm going to make.

I've got kohlrabi. I have kale. There are carrots and apples and green onions. I've got sliced almonds in the pantry.

Decent beer is, of course, a necessary ingredient for any dinner-making adventure.

Sounds like a big cole slaw to me.

Here's how it came together.

Dressing (all measurements VERY approximate, so use your best judgement):
1 T toasted sesame oil
1 T seasoned rice vinegar
2 T soy sauce
1 inch fresh ginger, peeled
1 medium apple, cored and roughly cubed
2 T peanut butter
(One whole peeled orange or a lime would be good, but I didn't have one. I forgot to add garlic, but you probably should. It would also be good with some red pepper flakes, but Callie is way spice-averse.)

Blend all ingredients until smooth. (I used a Vitamix high speed blender.) Taste and adjust if needed. Refrigerate.

Cole Slaw
4 small apples, cored
2 medium kohlrabi, tough peel removed
6 medium carrots
1 bell pepper, seeded (I used green because I had it on hand. Yellow, red, or orange would be better.)

Shred ingredients listed above. I used my food processor with the shredding attachment.

Add: 
1 bunch of kale, finely chopped
3 green onions, sliced
1 bunch cilantro, roughly chopped

Pour on dressing and toss.

Add:
1 C of sliced almonds

Toss one last time and serve.

I just used what I had on hand to make this, but you could add ingredients like broccoli, purple cabbage, edamame, or bean sprouts. If you're looking for more substance, this would be good with rice noodles or mung beans or even lentils.

I ate two big bowls and felt full. Scott also had two servings. Brynn had one big bowl. Callie ate one medium bowl and then she had a couple of dried dates for dessert. For us, this was enough. If we were going straight from a chicken-and-ribs lifestyle to a plant-strong lifestyle, this dinner would obviously raise some eyebrows at the table. But, since we eased into it, a meal like this is expected and satisfying for us.

I hope this helps!

The end of a lifelong struggle

I've struggled with my weight and my body image my entire life. I've never been obese, but I've always been overweight. Even in high school when I was at morning and afternoon swim practices, probably swimming as many as 8000 yards a day, things were never quite right. I played sports year round and was always an athlete, but always carried extra weight. I didn't eat candy, I didn't drink soda, I didn't eat typical junk food or much processed food. My mom said I was fine and my doctors said I was fine, so I didn't worry too much about it. I just never felt great about myself and I always figured someday I'd shed the extra pounds.

But, I was never willing to do anything difficult to get there. I'm still not, actually. I am not and never will be a runner. I despise running. I love food and am not willing to feel hungry. I can't make myself throw up (although I did try, probably like most teenage girls who are unhappy with their weight). Once in fourth grade, the meanest boy I know called me a "110 pound whopper." I don't think I weighed that much and I know I wasn't huge, but I still torment myself with that comment.

My struggle is over. Do you hear that? I'm done. Not because I no longer care. Not because I've decided to restrict my calories. Not because I'm exercising myself to death. I haven't done anything extreme. I've just tweaked my diet a little bit. That's all it took.

My diet has changed from the majority of calories coming from animal products, grains, and oils to the majority of calories coming from plants. I use significantly less olive oil than I used to and recently I completely removed chocolate from my house (that was hard, actually). I did not get rid of cocoa powder, mind you, but chocolate.

For the past four or five years, Scott and I have only been eating meat as a main course three or four times a week, and it was always from local ranches and farms -- never from the grocery store. But we never cut out cheese or milk or completely eliminated meat. And, actually, we still haven't gotten rid of them completely, but we did cut way, way back.

When I say the "majority" of my calories are coming from plants, I don't mean 55%. I mean like 85-90%. I mean the vast majority. Scott and I started by going 100% vegan for six weeks. We didn't rely on bread, pasta, and other grains to fill us up. We filled up on salads and veggies and beans. We significantly reduced our olive oil use. We mixed nuts into our salads and we started to juice veggies. We were not hungry. We did not count nor restrict our calories. In the first three weeks, pounds of fat literally disappeared from my body. I lost about 14 pounds in the first three weeks. Things slowed down after that and I've slowly continued to lose weight since then even though I'm no longer trying. I'm down about 25 pounds now and today, for the first time ever, the weight listed on my driver's license is accurate.

Not that I meant to cheat when I got my Colorado driver's license eight years ago. I think I was close and was headed toward that weight. But then I had Callie and never made a conscious effort to get back to my pre-baby weight. After going plant-strong, I'm now below my pre-baby weight and in the healthy BMI range for the first time in my life.

This was in June. I'm down another 8-10lbs since then!

I will never be a tiny person. I will never be skinny. That's just not who I am. I am 5'8" and built like a tank. A feminine tank, but still, I'm the cliché "big-boned" person that every fat person thinks they are. In high school my friend Gretchen and I used to talk about how our hips were built for twins. I never had twins, but the doctor who delivered Brynn said I have "the Cadillac of uteruses." Brynn was born 9lbs 14oz. We are not small people.

Will I always kind of wish I were that little person? Yes. Do I realize that my build is not related to my health? Yes. And I am so thankful to have found a healthy lifestyle.

If you're interested in learning more about a plant-strong lifestyle, I'd suggest that you start by reading Dr. Fuhrman's book Eat to Live. That is where we started and it turned our ideas of health upside-down. The book has several testimonies from Dr. Fuhrman's obese and really sick patients (ie: diabetes, heart attacks, super high blood pressure) who used his plan to get healthy. We didn't relate so much to those stories, but the rest of the book was packed with information that is useful for anyone. I also read (and purchased, which is big for me) Fuhrman's book Disease Proof Your Child. It is a great guide to getting micronutrient-dense plant foods into your kids and setting them up for a lifetime of health. It's not so much about weight-management as it is about preventing diseases like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. I've paged through The Engine 2 Diet and think it is totally on-target. I own the new Forks Over Knives cookbook -- it is vegan, plant-strong, and super accessible. No weird ingredients. The Forks Over Knives and Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead documentaries are really motivating and available for instant watching on Netflix.

Have you changed your health lately? Or dropped weight without struggling? I'd love to hear about it.

How to rescue a cat from a tree

Yeah, cat rescues don't exactly belong under the umbrella of this blog, but since it is yet another chore that Scott and I figured out how to DIY this weekend, I figured I'd share our method with you. Plus...it was a budget-friendly rescue, so I guess it kind of does fit here.

Our kitty, Anna, likes to go out hunting in the evenings. But on Saturday night she didn't come back. We expected the worst, and with good reason. In our neighborhood, just about everyone who has a cat has lost a cat. Bobcats, coyotes, foxes, and bears abound.

Somehow Anna managed to escape whatever must have been chasing her (in all her eleven years, she has never been a tree-climber).

But when she escaped, she got stuck. Stuck about 35 feet up in our neighbor's Cottonwood tree.

Here is how we got her down.

This belongs on a "good to know" Pinterest board, don't you think?

First we leaned our 22 foot extension ladder up against the tree. This, in itself, was not easy. It kept getting stuck in branches and was awkward to maneuver, to say the least. When Scott climbed to the top of the ladder, he was still nowhere near Anna.

So we did what any tax-paying American would do and we visited the fire department. Actually, I tried to call but I couldn't find a phone number for the one near our house and 911 seemed like overkill for this. The firemen I talked to were (predictably) not super eager to help. They were very friendly and they smiled (and only one was snarky, which is kind of amazing considering how stupid we probably seemed) and they took our names and phone number and said they'd call the ladder company and IF the ladder company wasn't busy MAYBE they'd come out.

That's pretty much what we expected, but figured it was worth a try.

Then we talked about contacting one of the emergency cat rescue people we found via Google. You know, tree trimmers who also make emergency cat calls? Wait, not cat calls. Cat-rescue calls?

But we're cheap and couldn't find prices anywhere and, to be honest, we've already spent enough on Anna over the past few months (teeth cleaning, teeth removal, bone biopsy...ugh). So, if there was any way we could DIY this rescue, we figured we'd give it a shot.

Or, at least Scott did.

He told me, "Don't watch what I'm about to do because you'll tell me it's a bad idea." And he might have been right. I probably would have. And I would have been so very wrong.

Here is Scott's $FREE$ miracle Kitty Elevator.

Yep, a large and very sturdy cardboard box screwed to the end of a long 2x4.

To make it super stable (and it was surprisingly stable), he put a piece of plywood inside the box and then drove two 2 1/2" deck screws through the plywood and into the end of the 2x4. Then, Callie (pictured above) put one of the kitty's favorite blankets inside the box, along with a can of food (per the firefighters' recommendation...we'd left it at the bottom of the tree for a while like they said to, but there was no way she was getting down on her own).

Then Scott climbed back up the ladder with the kitty elevator in hand. Now, every tree is different. Every cat is different. Every situation is different. This might not work for you. In fact, it might be insane to even think about it. For our tree and our kitty and our situation, it ended up being a perfect solution.

Once he got to the top of the ladder, Scott raised the kitty elevator up to the kitty. She was definitely willing to climb in (the sound of her meow even changed as soon as the box came near her) but the box was positioned awkwardly and Scott couldn't hold it steady. So he swung it around the tree trunk in order to lean it against another branch. Anna turned herself around and hopped in almost immediately.

Climbing in!

Scott gently lowered her down and then pulled her out of the box and -- you won't believe this -- she was actually licking her chops. She'd been eating that can of food on the way down.

Coming down.

Pulling her out of the box.

Apparently she was not traumatized from spending a night 35 feet up in a tree. And, to our surprise, she did not spend the remainder of the day sleeping. Well, not more than usual, anyway.

I don't think this would work for everyone but we had a few things going for us. First, Anna loves cardboard boxes. I suppose this is true of many cats, so maybe other cats would be happy to hop from a branch into a inexplicably floating cardboard box in the top of a tree. Second, there was some super tasty canned food in that box. Anna usually eats in the middle of the night and gets hungry again around 7:30 every morning. By the time we rescued her, it was about 9:45AM. She was well past her normal breakfast time. Being the semi-spoiled cat that she is, she really needs to be fed on time, lest her blood sugar fall into an abnormal range.

I'm kidding. Kind of.

The third thing that we had going for us was that Anna trusts us. She is not skittish. She doesn't run from us when we try to pick her up. She's not brilliant (obviously) but she's not stupid either. She was very unhappy in the tree. (You know the chorus of meows you hear when you drive a cat to the vet? That's what she was doing up in the tree.) I'm not sure that we would have had the same results if a stranger had tried to rescue her. Maybe...but she really likes us best.

Lastly, it really helped that Scott has significant upper body strength. He takes really good care of himself and he's strong. I could not have lowered Anna from the tree. I probably couldn't have climbed the ladder carrying the 2x4, actually. It takes strong core muscles to get up and strong shoulders to hold the elevator over your head and then insane balance and coordination to climb down while holding the elevator. For us, everything seemed to be in our favor, but this last one was probably the most important. Your elevator's gotta have a good engine.

So there you go. Tuck this little tutorial away for the next time you need to rescue a cat. I hope your results will be as good as ours were!

When things go wrong

I wish I had some photos to go with this post but when things go wrong I don't have time to pull out my camera and start shooting.

Last week our top-loading washer overflowed. It is twelve years old and has never been serviced. Nope, not once. We are those kind of people -- the kind who don't maintain their appliances according to the directions in the owner's manual. (As a sidenote, do you? Do you have your appliances serviced regularly?)

So one night last week at about 10:30pm I started a load of laundry and something went wrong. Thankfully, as I headed up stairs to write a note to one of my kids (reminding her to do her homework in the morning) I heard a weird noise coming from the laundry room.

It sounded like a river. Something was definitely wrong.

So I walked into the laundry room and stepped in very large a puddle. Water was rushing over the side of the machine and straight down into the heater vent which is installed in the laundry room floor. I turned off the washing machine and then grabbed the basket of cleaning rags from the cabinet above the washer and tried to re-direct the flow of water. Then I just stood there for a second wondering what to do next.

So, like any normal person, I started yelling, "Flood! Flood! Towels! Bring towels!"

Apparently Scott though I was yelling "Blood!" so he brought one towel, not the ten I needed. Then he saw the flood and said, "That's not a job for towels. That's a job for the shop vac."

Duh. How I could spend so much time with that shop vac in my hand and not think to use it here, I have no idea.

So he brought in the shop vac and I sucked up two and a half canisters full of water (I'm so thankful the floor in the laundry room is linoleum and not wood). Then I towel dried the rest of the floor.

Scott went to check out the basement and found water leaking from the ductwork through the new basement ceiling. He wasn't game for dealing with the water for very long, but he did stick around long enough to grab a utility knife so that we could puncture the bubbles of water that were growing on the basement ceiling.

This was a genius move (it was my idea).

So Scott headed to bed and I hung out in the basement for a bit, lancing those bubbles and squeezing out the water. It was quite satisfying. A little like popping zits, if I'm being totally honest. And in the morning the ceiling looked pretty good. I think with some drying time and a coat of paint, it will be fine -- so thankful for our dry Colorado climate!

Here was my thought process as I worked to clean up the mess:

• Bummer that we haven't had our machine serviced. We should probably do that now.
• My laundry room floor is going to be cleaner than ever (and it IS!).
• I'm so glad we caught this flood when we did or this basement ceiling would be demolished.
• Wow, I am so lucky. So blessed to have such an amazingly easy life that THIS is the worst thing that's happened to me all week. All month. Wait...when was the last time that something worse happened to me?

And I really couldn't remember anything in my recent past that was worse than a minor flood in my house.

I love my house. I love being in my house. I love the comfort of being at home. Even when things go wrong -- when we fail inspections as we work on our basement reno, when the thermostat dies, when the hot water heater stops working, when the dishwasher doesn't get dishes clean, even when the washing machine overflows. In the midst of it all, I feel secure and comfortable and happy and loved in my home.

I hope you do, too.

Processing the Waldo Canyon Fire

My family and I are still working through our thoughts and emotions related to the Waldo Canyon Fire. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose one's house -- the sheer mass of paperwork and shopping and looking for a place to live, and then add to it trying to counsel one's children? And keep them fed/dressed/clean? Let's not even go there. I don't know how I'd do it.

So when I say we're still working through our thoughts and emotions, it feels a bit ridiculous.

This week it will be one month since the fire started. The fire is still burning, and expected to continue burning until December. As a way to commemorate the first month, Scott edited the videos we took during the fire and put them to music that reflects how we were feeling as we watched it burn. It's about 7 minutes long -- don't feel bad fast-forwarding. For me, watching it for the full seven minutes is a bit like meditating. I take a deep breath and watch and listen and pray.



Waldo Canyon Fire from Hillary on Vimeo.

{oxidized} X Coffee Table

A coffee table to go with the X Console Table! On Ana's Facebook page, a few people requested plans for this coffee table after the console table was posted. We had it in the works, but it took me longer to build than expected, due in part to the insane Waldo Canyon Fire that recently ripped through our hometown. Our family was evacuated the same day I bought the wood for this table. Thankfully, our house made it through unscathed, although we have friends who were not so lucky.

When we returned home from our evacuation, I was itching to work on this table. Building is my favorite form of therapy, after all, even when it feels like I'm playing with kindling. Working on a piece of furniture clears my mind and refreshes me.

I have begun marking time with furniture. I remember what my life was like, what my kids were up to, how I was feeling as I built each piece and so each piece I work on has a different place in my heart. This one will always remind me of those hot and windy, smokey grey days. It will remind me of the sadness I felt as we drove away from our beloved forest and city. Of the longing for our neighborhood and mountains to be drenched by rain. Of the tears I shed as I stood on the hill behind our home in disbelief, watching the fire engulf mountains and houses. Of the faith that filled me and reminded me that what I love most are my people -- and my people are all safe. It will also remind me of the relief that covered me as we returned to our home, perfectly intact. It will remind me of how our community comes together to love and support one another, to ease one another's burdens.

I love this table. I love the smooth grey weathered finish and the bulk and heft of it. Even more, I love that it bears the weight of heavy memories. It stands as a reminder to me of how blessed my family is -- to live in a place that we love with people whom we love in a house that we love.

This table was very simple to build. Once I got started, I was able to complete it in about two days. It took me around 5 hours to build and sand and maybe another 3 or 4 for the finish. The X on this table is much simpler to cut than the X on the console table because the angles are within reach of a typical miter saw.

The only time I didn't follow the plans was in cutting the Xs, because I tend to be terrible at getting measurements perfect when they involve anything other than a 90 degree angle. For those cuts, I held up a 2x2 in the right position on the table, marked where and at what angle it needed to be cut, and then set my saw accordingly. I did this with all four pieces, marking the smaller pieces on both the ends and in the middle, where the smaller pieces intersect the long diagonal piece.

The finish on this piece involved the same process as the X Console Table. It's a process of oxidizing, or weathering, the wood to make it look like it's been sitting out in the elements. Because each part of the table is made from a different species of wood and because wood weathers at different rates, it did require a bit of experimenting and thinking, but is still a relatively easy finish. 

You can find a tutorial for the finish, which is sealed with furniture wax, here.

There are two kinds of decorative hardware on the table. Down at the bottom of each leg is a 1/2" x 1" hex bolt, available for under fifty cents each at hardware stores. To attach them, I drilled 1/2" holes in the table legs where I wanted the bolts to go and then used wood glue to keep the bolts in the holes. The brackets at the top are simple L-brackets that cost a few bucks each. They don't come with screws -- I used #8 one inch screws to attach them to the corners of the table. Both the bolts and the brackets came in a shiny steel finish which I sprayed with flat black spray paint. Once the corner brackets were attached, the heads of the screws were painted with the same black paint. 

So there you go. A beautiful, rustic table able to carry the weight of heavy memories. Here's to adding more memorable pieces to our homes and to filling our homes with happy, thankful memories.

Psst...for more on our view of the fire, check out this post and video. 
Psssst...for a post on the X End Table, check out this post.